A Quickie with Jeff Strand
Nikki Noir (NN): What’s your darkest fantasy? And why will you never act it out in real life?
Jeff Strand (JS): I’d like to fill a bathtub with gummi bears, climb in there with them, melt them part of the way with a hair dryer, and then emerge from the tub as a twisted half-human, half-deformed-gummi-bear creature. I will never act on this because it’s impractical.
NN: We all have a guilty pleasure. What’s the movie, television program, or music you’re a bit embarrassed of?
JS: I can’t really think of anything I wouldn’t willingly confess to on social media. I guess I’ll admit that Weird Al Yankovic’s “Party in the CIA” is a great, catchy song, which means that I think Miley Cyrus’ original “Party in the USA” is also a great, catchy song, which must make me a Miley Cyrus fan.
NN: If you could collaborate with any small press author on a project, who would it be and why?
JS: If I answer this question, they might say, “Why didn’t you tell me how you felt sooner? Let’s do this!” and then I’d get in trouble with people who are waiting on other collaborations. Despite having done a couple of very successful ones, I’m a little too power-hungry for the collaborative process.
NN: Tell us about your latest project or work in progress.
JS: Bang Up is a filthy comedic thriller about a guy who believes that his wife is on a dating site looking to cheat on him, so he hires a stranger to seduce her, with the instructions that the stranger perform badly. Many, many things go wrong. It’s a goofy, smutty comedy, but I’m back to horror with my work in progress, Ferocious.
NN: Of all the characters you’ve created, do you have a favorite and why?
If you asked me tomorrow, my answer would probably change, but right now I’ll say
Rachel aka “Blister” from Blister. She’s hideously disfigured and lives in a shed, but she’s
not a monster at all—she’s a very likable person. On the villanous side, I’d say Ivan from
NN: What’s your favorite philosophical quote or phrase to live by?
JS: Philosophical quotes are too deep for a superficial guy like me.